A Curse Upon Thee 2-23B

Municipal Allocations…

A sigh left David’s mouth as he stared at the form in front of him. Infrastructural Budget Derivatives… As much as he wanted to keep his eyes focused, the black text blurred together under the buzzing glare of the fluorescents in the sheriff’s station.

“Jesus.” He raised a heavy hand to his face, scrubbing down until his fingers met a freshly-shaved jaw. That same hand went up again, pushing his thick blond hair back and letting it fall loose against his forehead. Why do people keep putting me in positions?

All sorts of them.

All his life.

If it wasn’t thrusting him in the place of his brother to slay dragons and lead armies across open fields, or pushing him forward to take the throne of his ‘father’ and rule a kingdom that was never meant to be his, then it was just… this.

Sitting behind a cheap laminate desk these last ten days was its own war, David dealing with a headache simply trying to figure out what forms did what and who he was technically in charge of at this point.

The simple answer was most likely everyone, considering the town was treating him like he was royalty again. Even still, he wanted to do this right; even if only to show Regina that he could handle anything that she could.

Pen pressed into paper, David starting his signature with a burst of momentum—

The glass door of the station swung open, ink digging a useless trench into deep paper as David’s hand dropped down to the leather pommel of the broadsword by the side of his desk. It was a reflex he hadn’t quite managed to shake yet, memories of his old life far stronger than anything in this one.

Fingers closed tight into a fist, David forced a blue-eyed gaze up as a visitor made their way down the hall. In a matter of seconds, Graham Humbert stood across the room from where David sat, the cold Maine air drifting into the office behind the man.

David slowly moved his hand away from his blade, staring at the tall man with all the muscle of an outdoorsman and stubble softening his wolfish jaw. “Graham.”

“Charming.” He spoke his ‘name’ with an almost-placid calm. “Good evening.”

“Graham.” David repeated his name firm and loud, nodding at the man again as he tried to find something — anything — else to say. “You’re… you’re… uhh…”

“Alive and well? Doing well?” The once-huntsman raised an eyebrow. “Stuck in a well?”

The mayor allowed himself a snort at the other man’s joke. “I was gonna say ‘out and about’ but most of those work, sure.”

“Yeah, well…” The visitor stepped further into the office, gaze dropping to the star pinned to David’s chest before rising back to meet David’s eyes. “It got a bit stuffy in there. The old house is… uh, well, you know.”

David didn’t, but he nodded all the same.

“Figured I’d stretch my legs before the walls closed in.”

“Good.” He kept nodding, a smile forced to his face as he rose to his feet. The room seemed to shrink as the two of them stood there across a desk from each other; two men of mass standing a hair over six feet occupying a space designed for filing cabinets and a coffee maker.

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? David didn’t speak the words but the memory was still there; the last time they had truly even met before anything Regina had yet to do. 

Before this now-broken curse.

Cold stone walls and the smell of damp earth almost replaced laminate wood and buzzing office lights as he saw Graham in the black leather of the Queen’s men; the Black Knight knocking out one of his fellow guards and stepping aside into the shadows so a desperate prince could break out with his Snow. I can’t believe I…

He’d never seen Graham again after that.

Not till now, at least.

“I never…” David cleared his throat, the words thick in his chest as he tried to push them out. “I never had the chance to thank you. Properly, I mean.” He leaned forward, hands resting on the desk. “For what you did for me back at… back at her castle. Letting me go.”

Graham stared back at him. “What about it?”

“You risked it all, Graham.”

The smile on the other man’s face came with a quiet breath of a smile, pale eyes dropping to the floor tiles. “Not much there to risk, David. A man without a heart has to find good in him somewhere.” He lifted his chin, the smile falling away just a bit. “Though it seems we’ve both ended up in rather strange positions since.”

“You can say that again.” David laughed, the sound loud and rough enough to drown out everything else in the room for a few seconds. “I went from a cursed coma to working at a pet shelter to running a town that thinks I’m the Chosen One.”

“…from what I heard, that title belongs to your daughter.” Graham spoke the sentence oddly slowly, eyebrows rising higher as if surprised by his own words. “Emma.”

“…yeah, Emma.” Laughter faded slowly even as David fought hard to keep the smile on his face. “But uhhh… I’m glad you’re back, Graham.”

“Same here.” The man hummed to punctuate his words, a smile of his own spreading. “You hear they made a film about me?”

“Oh, I’ve heard.”

“Actor’s a bit bigger than me, but…” He tilted his head. “You know what they say about beggars.” A laugh of his own escaped Graham’s lips, lower and quieter. “Film aside… this world is… it’s so much easier, isn’t it?”

“I can almost understand Regina when I wake up.” David stood straight up from the desk, a sigh on his lips as he admitted that. “Microwaves. Wi-fi.” He swept a hand through the air, the simple words leaving him with all the weight of a royal decree. “Running water, Graham.”

Another breathy laugh escaped Graham’s lips. “I’m rather particular to the YouTube, myself.”

“I had a court bard once.” David kept the grunt in his throat, the sound escaping anyway. “I can tell you I hated that guy. Snow loved him. I don’t know why. Barely a decent singer, tone-deaf on the lute, but there wasn’t exactly much choice for entertainment. Half the time, you just had to sit there and let him yell poems at you during dinner.”

Graham snorted back, tilting his head as an easy smile crinkled the corners of his face. “Toilet paper.”

David pointed a finger right at him, another laughing bursting free. “Two-ply. A godsend. Keep the magic; my kingdom for two-ply.”

Both men laughed, the sound loud and genuine as it bounced off the office tiles — both floor and ceiling knew the relieved noise of two men who just wanted peace.

Their laughter faded soon enough, a quiet comfort filling the room instead. David pushed off the desk and walked over to the coat hook on the wall, a heavy leather gun belt and a set of steel cuffs finding their way into his hands.

With a nod, he turned back around and held both out, leading with conviction.

“How’d you like your job back, Graham?”

The huntsman stared at the offered leather, the faint smile he wore fading at the clearly unexpected question. “You’d let a dead man protect this town?”

“Well, uh…” David clicked his tongue. “I was kind of dead for a while there too.” He offered a laugh at Graham’s stilled face. “Twenty-eight years in a hospital bed and people still trust me to hold a sword.”

“Kind of, he says. Not the same thing, Charming.” Graham’s counter came with a set jaw, the man not stepping back even as he glared at the belt. “I have dirt in my lungs, David. Might not be real dirt, but at least a part of me is still in the ground. I shouldn’t be above it.”

Come on, enough with this. David stood his ground, the mayor pushing the heavy belt forward again. “Do you want the job or not, Graham?”

The huntsman stared, gray-blue eyes — dark enough they nearly seemed black — flicking between the gunbelt and the man holding it. After what felt like minutes of silence, softness returned to Graham’s face, another laugh spilling free. “This isn’t you doing me a favor, is it, Charming?”

“I prefer David.”

“Charming.”

“Look…” David bit down on a frustrated huff, the belt in his hands lowered as he stared at the stubborn dead man. “Being mayor is hard enough. Sheriff on top of that is asking far too much of me. I’ve got half the town panicking about magic, Regina running around acting like she’s not depressed without Snow around to give her hating heart purpose, and…” So much more than all that, honestly. 

With his grandson’s curse weighing heavily on his mind, Chad was only a sprinkling of stress on top of that. “Look, I just need someone else to handle at least one thing before I completely lose my mind, Graham.”

The once-dead woodsman hummed, the sound low and thoughtful, before tilting his head back to stare at the man offering him a job. “I suppose I wouldn’t mind the mayor’s seat.”

The look on David’s face was flat enough to drive on.

“Just an idea, Charming.” The smile crossed his face with another quiet breath. “Something to give Regina a good startle.”

David’s chest hitched with the urge to laugh at that but he kept it hidden, jaw still set. “So, is that a yes?”

Graham finally reached out, a single hand closing around the heavy leather belt. David let it go with a smile, watching as the other man hefted the familiar weight before meeting his eyes again. “It’s not a no… my king.”

David closed his eyes, broad shoulders slumping. “Goddamnit.”